Thursday, November 13, 2008


What the Crap?

This is what I think all of the time -- and it's a silly saying -- and a little rough at that. But what the crap am I thinking? What the crap am I going to do? What the crap am I SUPPOSED to do? I need to get a new saying to run through my head.

Anyway - I keep thinking about my pending move back to Utah and I think - who does this? Move - without a job? give up a good job for a maybe? Give up my house? I LOVE my home! What am I thinking? I'm beginning to think I'm not sane - or I'm scared - probably a bit of both.

Life just throws test after test after test your way. Well, I have to be honest. I'm not liking life and it's tests right now. Frankly, they suck.

Okay, that's it for now - I need to get back to bed. I'm not focused - I'm not getting any work done. I think I'll sleep for a couple more hours and then get up again.

Quinn has an audition today and Amelia has school - dance, of course, later.

Nighty, night.... or should I say, Good Morning?

Monday, October 06, 2008

Embracing the Journey

The journey that is called Twin Cities.

October 5, 2008 – this was a day to remember. It was what I called my Freedom Run. I arrived in Minneapolis with 9 other friends. We’d all planned on running the Twin Cities Marathon some time last year after Chicago’s disaster. It’s a run I’d looked forward to for some time. We arrived from various cities around the US. Except for myself, everyone had trained for this event. I, as most people know from this blog, had a little implosion of life in July. Going through a divorce has its fair share of struggles so I didn’t get in the training that I’d planned. I was coming off of an injury and a small bought of depression and wasn’t in the best shape going in to training and then the divorce made training next to impossible for me.

Still, I wasn’t going to let Robb win. I’d gotten my airfare and my entry to TCM so why not run it? I’d done 15 other marathons so I knew mentally I could do it. I’d done it before so why not just try. The worst thing that could happen would be that I’d have to stop and drop. I set out with just a long run of 14 miles under my belt – and that was about 6 weeks prior to the race. DEFINITELY not the mileage you need to run a successful marathon. However, this marathon had a different journey. The journey was not to set a personal best or come in even close to my PR – it was to endure to the end -it was to WIN, to not give up, and to overcome all of the negativity that I’d endured within my marriage – and with regard to my running. It was my Freedom Run and I was out to embrace the journey.

We started out for the Metro-dome around 5:30 and it was sprinkling. As we got on the buses that would take us to the start it was raining. The rains subsided as we lined up for the guns to go off. About a mile into the run it started raining again. Then the downpour started. Miles 2 through 9 were pretty much a soaking mess. But, coming from the Pacific Northwest it was a piece of cake. I know I don’t melt, having run in downpours more than my fair share. I stopped dodging the puddles and just ran through them. I was wearing my running skirt and a short-sleeved Maniac top – wished I was in capris, gloves and long sleeves. It got COLD. The cold is probably what made me get through the first 11 miles without stopping. I just wanted to get through the race and surprisingly I felt GOOD!

Miles 12 through 16 were a little tougher as they should have been. Remember, my longest run all YEAR – yes, in all of 2008 was 14 miles and that was in August. The last 20 I’d done was in September of 2007 when I was training for Chicago. Again, not in marathon shape.

Miles 16 through the end were just a test of faith and strength – physical as well as mental. The faith I had was that I knew I’d get through this. I knew that I’d been blessed with a strong body and that I had been through this before, maybe not this hard, but I’d been there. I knew I could do it. The mental strength was just about not letting the mental ‘bad’ demons get to me. I saw a couple ‘runner drop-out zones’ and thought it’d be nice to be done since I wasn’t going to get a PR and it was tough but I fought those back with these words – ‘IF I QUIT ROBB WINS’. I’m stubborn and Robb will not win. It kept me going and going. The physical strength was just acknowledging that my legs and hips were on fire. The body really DOES need that training in the months before a marathon and it’s INSANE to try to do it without. Does that make me insane? Probably – or more like just insanely stubborn and unwilling to let my ex triumph over yet another aspect of my life. No MORE.

The last mile I just focused and shuffled it in. I came up over the downhill to the finish and saw the finish line. I got really emotional. I think the only other times I was emotional in a marathon were the first two – and they were the first marathons right after the births of my daughters. The other 13 have just been fun experiences – exhilarating, but not too emotional. I got so choked up this time. My eyes welled with tears. I thought of my friends and of loved ones who encouraged me to run this marathon. I thought of the people’s names I’d written on my arms (yeah, we do this to be inspired as we run – kind of like little tattoos of our kids’ or spouses names) I looked down so many times during the run and I thought of those people, of the love I have for them and the love they have for me.

I crossed the finish line exactly at 5:23:00 – normally this time would have thoroughly disappointed me as I’m usually right around the 4 hour mark. However, this was an entirely different journey. Another test of enduring everything. This race signified a new beginning for me. It signified a fresh start for running, a new beginning. I ended that race with a new love of the sport. I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Running feeds my soul as well as FREES my spirit. I’m never going to give up marathons. These are a part of who I am. I may not ‘look’ like the typical runner, having a short, stocky body, but I have the heart and determination of a runner. No one can ever take that away – never again.

Oh, by the way - my good friend Cyd and I found matching bracelets from Brighton that say "Embrace the Journey". It's so appropriate. I love it and plan to wear it daily!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Seriously? Again!

It, again, has been way too long between my bloggings. A lot of stuff has been going on in life and I guess writing is just not top priority. Right now I should be working, but -- no -- I decided I needed to just write.

I'm anxious and conflicted about this coming weekend. I'll be meeting a bunch of girl-friends for TCM - Twin Cities Marathon - for those of you that are not in the know. :-) Anyway, I have not trained. It's been sporadic at best and my longest run, a month ago, was 14 miles and it kicked my butt. Seriously - I had a really hard time with it. Again, I'm going to do TCM to show Robb he did not win. He might have beaten me down a bit, but he will never have that control over me again. He will NOT win this one. I will get through the marathon. Might be a six-hour ordeal, but I'll do it. I'm not afraid of pain or time and I'm not going to be ashamed to come in 2 hours slower than my best. This will be my triumph - and mine alone. It'll be even sweeter than those sub-4 marathons I've done because this will have been completed during one of the hardest times of my life.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of my friends and my support. Seriously have been the best ever. I have so many cheerleaders and so many people who have watched and will be watching my girls as I go run this race. I could never do all of this - go through such a life changing experience without my good friends. These are the people that endure with you - that make it possible for you to reach for your dreams and goals. The people who are there prodding you to just get out the door when all you want to do is to sit and cry. Enduring and lasting friendships - Thank you - and you guys know who you are! I love you!

So as I embark on this new journey - a marathon that has had little to no training -- all I can say is I'll be focusing on the friends and loved ones in my life. You all will be pulling me through. You don't realize that, but you will. You'll be there whispering encouragment to me as I make it mile after mile. I can't wait to focus and meditate on all of my friends... we can do this together.

When I cross that finish line you will all be there with me. So, pat yourselves on the back -- you're in for a long and blistered run on Sunday. We will finish - we will endure - we will make it out even stronger than we entered. I'm a survivor thanks to all of you.

Love to you all,

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Running Friends and SPOF

I actually got in 14 miles yesterday. I went out in the early AM to run it all solo. I got two miles done and quit. Yes me... quit. Hard to believe huh? I just couldn't do it. I knew it was a mental thing - probably some physical but I hadn't let that come in to play at the two mile mark.

I called my friend Sherri and we set a plan in motion to get a sitter to watch the kids so we could run a bit later in the afternoon.

We set out around 1:20 or so and found our pace. I knew jumping back in to running with so much time off would be huge - especially jumping in to 14 miles. What the hell was I thinking? Oh yes, I'm thinking that TCM is literally a month away and I have been bombarded with the HELLS of life and have let that take over everything. Understandable.

Anyway, I'd decided to do a run 4 walk 1 combo. I'd never really done this but decided I needed this run to be easy mentally breaking it up in to little chunks and easier physically as I wasn't sure I could do it.

The first 8 miles were okay and then I just felt really fatigued. I'd been feeling really worn down all day. I think partially due to some medication my doctor has me taking and I think I'm going to drop it... it's no good. Just makes me feel like I have a haze over myself. Yeah, it's good for bringing your emotions under control but at what cost? Anyway, I think part of that fatigue was due to medication and I'm not sure how much was due to me just being woefully out of shape.

The last 4 were pretty much hell. My legs felt like lead my my friend Sherri kept up the positive talk....she's a counselor, ya know? I got emotional a few times out there but one time I got really upset. Not because of the run or the hurt but because I'd let my husband take the one thing I truly loved besides him and the girls away from me.

SPOF - Spousal Piss Off Factor -- this is the factor given to running. If there is a race that you really want to do and it has a SPOF of 3 - then do it. IF it has a SPOF of 10 - you'd better stay home.

For the last two years it seems like even getting out the door to run a short 4 or 5 mile run had a SPOF of 10+. I got comments like 'if you cared about the laundry as much as you do running we'd never have to look for socks' or just really put out comments that he'd have to watch the kids or do something that required any effort. It was my only outlet and I let that get taken away from me. I wanted my marriage to work and I felt like running was such a sword in his side I let it dwindle and dwindle. No, he never asked me to stop running -- it was just more of his attitude and his asking me not to talk to him at all about running. He didn't care to hear about it.

As I was running yesterday I got so mad at the place where I was. I'm back at square 1 with my running and two years ago I was kicking out marathons like they were 10ks. I'm mad that all that work and training I did has disappeared and I have to do it all over again.... for what? For a husband that was cheating on me AS he was putting me down and squashing my love of running. I did that so I could attempt to make my husband happier with me -- to work on my marriage and all the while he was lying to me and screwing around with woman after woman. He NEVER worked on our marriage. It was a game to him... and just a vessel of lies. I'm so mad at him for doing this to me and the girls but I'm just as mad at myself to letting him and for letting him defeat me - NEVER AGAIN!

So.... here's to 2009. Free of SPOF and free of my lying cheating cursing asshole of a husband. Good riddance. Here's to a 2009 of fun with my girls, dance for them and running for me. NO SPOF to work around - no tension when I say I want to go do a 1/2 marathon with a friend. No more.

Life is about living and learning. Well, I've learned a hard lesson. Now it's time to start living again.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Too Long

It's been a long time since I have posted anything. Basically my life as I knew it fell through the floor in July. I found out my husband of 10 years was in love with a 24 year old girl and I made him leave.

So, this is yet another test of endurance. I'm finding a lot of strength in being on my own with my girls. Going through finances and getting things separated and ready for divorce is not a small thing. But it's necessary. I haven't been too emotional, mainly just really focused on things I can effect. I'm sure the wave of emotions will come later. I mean they do come, but it's not all the time.

My girls took an extended vacation to be with their grandparents and I think that has helped them adjust. They just came back and knew he wasn't going to be here anymore. They'll still see him but how often still remains to be seen.

My running and exercising has taken a back seat to life yet again. TCM is like 8 weeks away - or possibly less. The longest run I'd done prior to the upheaval was 12 miles. I'm going to attempt 14 this weekend. We'll see if I can just get back in the saddle again. I NEED to do TCM. It won't be pretty, that's for sure, but it's going to be my race - the race I did while going through the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... saying goodbye to my husband.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Finding my grey area

I had a long chat with my nutritionist on Thursday and she told me again what I already know, and that is I'm black and white. I either do something 100% or not at all. I'm having a really hard time finding that happy medium -- my grey area.

I need to be more consistent with my running AND my nutrition. I know that life throws things at us... almost every day that we need to just pick up, dust off and continue on. It's this way with running -- a day that you slog through a run and wonder WHY am I even doing this... why am I out here? Or you have a piece of cake at a co-workers birthday party and decide you entire diet for the day is blown so why not eat the chips too. It's time to look at these as events to learn and grow from. WHY was that run bad -- did you hydrate properly? not enough sleep last night? Why can't you just enjoy the cake and stop there... maybe a salad for dinner instead of the heavier dinner you'd planned? The entire day is full of decisions that will make or break your fitness and nutrition regime. The plan is to tailor these decisions to make your day the best it can possibly be.

I'm going to really try this week to plan - plan exercise and plan nutrition. I need to do it daily because things fluctuate so much in the summer with school out that it's hard to make a weekly schedule and stick to it.

I'm ready to take the black and white out of my life and blend it together -- grey area, here I come.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I've been tagged!!

I was tagged by my new friend Lori -- AKA Toughnoodles. She came across my blog just a little while ago after I'd started posting a bit more regularly and I truly enjoy reading hers as well.

1- How would you describe your running 10 years ago?

10 years ago my running would be categorized as non-existent. I didn't run. I dabbled in running during college, but it was more like run a mile or two every month or so. I mtn. biked and snow skied a lot and that's it. I started running 9 years ago this December. I signed up with Team in Training - the Leukemia Society's running group and decided to run the Mayor's Midnight Sun Marathon in Anchorage - June of 2000. That experience changed my life. I ended up run/walking my first marathon in 6:01:01 -- my goal was 6 or under as I was painfully slow and a new runner and WAY overweight. I ALMOST made that goal, but it was the process that was life-changing.

2-What is your best and worst run/race experience?

BEST: Probably the marathons that go well. All of them. Capital City Marathon 2003 - first post-pregnancy marathon after baby #2 and my first attempt at training myself. I took my time from that just over 6 hour time to a 4:45. I was really, really proud of myself. Skagit Flats Marathon 2005 my first SUB 4 marathon -- I was thrilled and came in at 3:59. Portland Marathon 2005 - a month after Skagit I did that one in 3:57 -- I was on a roll.

WORST: Injuries. After Portland 2005 I started training for an ultra and just plain and simple, over trained. I ended up with a cast for a really bad Achilles injury. Yes, it was bad enough to immobilize completely.
I kept with weights and cycling so I stayed in good enough shape to do three marathons in 2006.

September of 2007 I broke my tibia at a boyscout fundraising event and had to stop everything. I'm still trying to recover from that.... almost a year later, 20 lbs heavier and a bought with depression I think I'm finally winning.

3- Why do you run?

I run for my sanity and because it's something that I can do that I feel I'm good at. No, I'm not fast, but I don't let up with distance. I would LOVE to get that ultra under my belt. I've attempted one -- had a DNF. But, about 2/3 of the field dropped due to hail, sleet, and snow - so I was in good company.

When I run it lets me clear through my thoughts... it lets me think about God and His creations. It lets me think about my girls and my husband and I can work through a lot of life's problems when I run. It's all about clarity and sanity.

4- What is the best or worst piece of advice you've been given about running?

Probably the worst advice I was given when I first started out running was at Lady Foot Locker -- no, I don't go there anymore... but to a 'real' running store. Anyway, I was told I needed really, really supportive shoes if I was going to be covering 26.2 miles. Think shoes that would not bend, had no flex in them at all. It was like walking on boards. Um, no.... shin splints galore and a trip to Sound Sports in Seattle and I was cured.

Best: Start slow at race - don't go with the crowd - you'll pass them eventually.... and you know what? I usually do. I remember Seattle 2005 - I started really, really slow with a friend that was training for an ultra. I was aching to go faster but we kept our 10 min pace. At the 13 mile mark we kicked it up and our negative split was huge... and we passed a ton of people in the last miles and we felt GOOD.

BODY GLIDE -- everything! Body Glide on your toes prevents blisters!

5- Tell us something surprising about yourself that not many people would know.

Let's see -- I guess the one thing that might be surprising about a Marathon Maniac that has completed 16 marathons... would be that I don't consider myself a runner. I wish I did. I don't. I don't feel like I look the part so it's almost embarrassing to tell people I run. It's something I'm trying to get over.... I have a thyroid condition and will never be thin like most runners are. I'm strong and have great endurance but deep down I wish I looked the part.

Now I'm supposed to tag 5 other people so these are the people whose answers I'd really like to read: Rach, Andria, Sherri, Another Sherri, and I'm still trying to decide the 5th person!

Here are the rules guidelines: If you have been tagged, you will find your name at the end of this post. You should then, copy the rules (or your version of them), and the set of questions onto your blog post, provide your own answers, and then tag 5 new people.
Just to be sure that everyone tagged knows they have been invited to play, go to their blogs and leave them a special comment letting them know, and refer them to your blog for details. One more thing, once they've answered the questions on their own blog, they should come back to yours to tell you

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

out and backs

Today I did 9 miles... out and back. I felt really stiff the entire time, like I was hardly moving yet every time I looked at my watch expecting to see 11's I saw 9:15s or so. Yeah, not really quick, but it wasn't slow as molasses like it felt. I'm getting over 'something' - a bad cold or semi-flu... not sure what but it could have been that. Also, I did some weight training yesterday and my calves have been aching all day today so I know that didn't help.

I was around mile 7 or so and I saw someone who yelled out my name. I didn't recognize him at first and then he said -- "hey, it's Bruce". I realized who it was. It's a buddy of a guy who's wife I used to run with. I had talked to these guys (three of them who ran together) a couple years ago and talked them in to qualifying for the Marathon Maniacs. They were 2 - 3 marathon a year runners and now they hit almost one a month. I realized I've spread the running/marathon disease to a few people. Along with these three guys, I've encouraged two runners from my YMCA group to qualify for the Marathon Maniacs, and one co-worker - who I encouraged to do her first marathon and she just keeps kicking them out and she has also qualified for the Manaics.... that's 6 Maniacs. My friend Shelly is a Maniac too, but I'm not sure I can say I influenced her. It was Chicago that did her in... she ran that awfully hot race last year and then decided she needed a re-take. Anyway, I guess where I'm going with this is it's really nice to be out running, struggling your butt away - wondering why you do this, and then someone sees you and lights up and is excited to see and greet you - you then realize you've really made some differences in other people's lives.

Running is good for your soul -- it's good for friendship -- and it's always nice when you're on the return from an out and back.

Well, it's official.

I'm going to Twin Cities to run this fall. It will be so much fun. I purchased my flight today so I guess there is no turning back.

Three things must happen before Oct 5th.

  1. MUST lose some weight as I don't want to be the lone fatty there.
  2. MUST get my pace back up to where I was - #1 should help with this.
  3. MUST get in all my training runs. I'm only doing 4 runs a week with cross-training so I should be able to accomplish this. This should help me with accomplish #1.
Those are easy, right? Well, not so easy with two kids, a full time job, husband, household and all the other duties of mommy and wife -hood.

Cross your fingers I get this all figured out.

Twin Cities here I come!

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Meet Tank!

As most of you know, our wonderful Lab Cody died about a month ago. Robb and I had talked and decided we wanted to find a smaller more 'house friendly' dog when we finally decided to get another one. We'd been looking at bassets, pugs (just me... Robb wasn't too fond of them), all sort of smaller-type dogs.

Anyway, Robb called me yesterday and said he'd found a dog. I guess he was delivering appliances to a customer and they had a dog (miniature beagle mixed with some sort of hound) that was just adorable. He commented on him and they asked if he knew anyone who wanted a dog. Apparently they had a few other dogs and this dog was a little high strung around the other dogs. Anyway, he called me and talked to me about it and I said to just go get him. He's 8 months old, house trained, crate trained and is just great around the girls. His name is Tank.

We took him for a walk today and every time he saw a bird he just bolted.... definitely likes those birds. He's a great lap dog... okay, a bit big for a lap dog, but he doesn't realize that.

We're so glad he's a part of our little family.... what a nice little guy for the girls to hang out with.

Welcome, Tank!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Another one bites the dust

Yeah, I'm talking about a running workout. Not sure how to exactly squeeze it in today. I SHOULD have gotten up and done it on the TM this morning. Maybe I'll get it in really, really late tonight or possibly I'll do a double tomorrow? I really want to get in all or near the mileage I had planned for this week because I'm doing a consistent ramp up over the next few weeks.

I got a call from Seth, the guy I do weights with once a week. I'd cancelled on him on Tuesday because Q was really sick so he called to see if I could workout Friday. Yes! I know weight lifting is really going to help me in the long run so I traded in my hour run time for weights. The rest of the day has been filled with running Q to the Dr - double ear infections - and then off to the store to get the Rx filled -- off to school to get Amelia and then off to take the girls to dance. After dance they'll both head to a sleepover but I'm not sure Quinn is staying all night. Just a hectic 'life' day. So.... if I get my run in... I'll have to call myself Super Mom all day tomorrow.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Joy of Spinning

Could there be a more fun type of cross-training? I'm not sure there is. It is such a rush to be in a class and just spin your little heart out. Our instructor, Steve, is a really nice guy but he'll throw out these comments like 'let's see... I don't think anyone here wants to sprint do they' looking directly at me. Of course I'm a good sprinter when I spin. My legs just pound around the bike like there's no tomorrow. I close my eyes and just find my happy place. I just love how I sweat and drip after a cycling class. Just wish I could do it more than once a week.

Oh, as I left class I told Steve I could have swore he was racing me there during one of the last sprints. His reply: 'I might have been' with a devious little smile on his face. I love that he's competitive in his own 'teacher' way.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Night Running

Felt really home-bound today with Q still being sick. It's really frustrating to be motivated and then have something get in your way of exercise. Now, I will say, I do enjoy mothering my children, especially when they are ill. I love how the climb in my lap and just want to be held and comforted. They won't always be little enough to sit on my lap, I know this, so it's days like today that I try to savor even though she's sick... it's still nice to be needed.

I got out the door around 8:30 PM. I was supposed to do 6 today but only got in 3. I'll just try to tack on a few extra miles on Saturday. I think I only have 5 scheduled for that day, so 8 will fit in nicely. The sun was just getting beyond the trees and it was cool and crisp out. Not too much traffic to deal with and the air just smelled fresh. Definitely been cooped up a little too much the last couple days!

I was able to run the entire 3 miles without stopping. Big whoopee, huh? but it's been awhile since I've been able to do that consistently. Only 18-1/2 weeks left. Must keep trucking along. I need to really watch the ol' diet a lot closer.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday - Sick day

No, not me... but Quinn. She wasn't herself yesterday - or I should say she was a LOT more herself - spunky and sassy to the point where she was in trouble a lot. Anyway, she came down with a fever last night and it was fairly high throughout the night so she stayed home from school today. This meant I had to miss my weight training today and essentially take an unscheduled rest day. I think I'll stretch good in a little bit and just run well tomorrow (provided she goes to school). If she stays home I have a date with the treadmill!

What's a Title?

I haven't written for a while. I'm not sure why except that life is busy and sometimes I feel all I write is jut gibberish anyway so why subject the one person that reads this blog to all that gibberish? Who is the one person? I'm not sure... possibly just me. I started thinking about my running and the slow-as-molasses pace I've acquired over the past 8 months. I was never fast, mind you, just faster than I am now. I was also thinking about my weight and how that is most probably the thing that is MOST responsible for my running demise. Yes, I'm 10 lbs heavier now than I was in September of last year. Truly my goal is to be 20 lbs lighter than I am now but then. I still have a long way to go as I've been on this 'diet' for 6 weeks now and haven't lost an ounce according to my scale. Now, could I be building more muscle mass now that I'm actually working out again? Yes. Time will tell.

Bringing this back around to running -- it's been said that for every pound you lose you gain time in running. That makes sense.... less mass to carry adds up in every distance. I fiddled around with a calculator that figures out what you'd run a race in if you gained or lost weight projected off of a known race time and weight. I plugged my marathon time of 3:57:48 in there and my weight two years ago... which is 8 lbs less than I am now and it predicted the BEST I could do in my current shape if I'm at the same fitness level as then would be a 4:07. Now, I'm no where near the same fitness level I was then so I'm thinking the best I could do right now would be sub-5. I still have 18 weeks & 5 days left to go though..... not really a lot of time. I need to buckle down and when I say buckle down I really mean buckle down. I'm a procrastinator by nature but now is not the time to procrastinate. I know marathon training time is NOT the time to focus on weight-loss. That being said, I certainly can't carry all this extra baggage across ANY finish line and be proud.

This picture is of me last August doing Hood to Coast relay. I look pudgy, yes, but man... look at those strong legs. I want those again!

I just need to focus everyday on being a strong, happy, confident person that is a runner. I should not, nor can I be ashamed of my body to the point it makes me not want to go run.

The title I will have is RUNNER.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Old Highway

There is an old highway that runs by my house. It's a hilly little highway.... but it's a good one to run on... when there is no traffic.

I haven't run on this road for quite a while. The hills were intimidating me again. Today I was out of time to dive to a less-hilly, more flat section of town so up the road I went.

I am still working my endurance back up and am adding as much mileage as quickly as I can without risking injury, so I've been doing a run/walk method. Today was run 11 minutes, walk 2 minutes then for all the other segments it was a run 9 minute/walk 2 minute schedule. This worked well although it seemed I was walking more of the downhill sections and running ALL of the up hill sections.

The weather was nice this morning -- overcast and sprinkling a bit, but not enough to get really wet. I did the 9 mile route in 1:32:30 which is a 10:16 pace. For reference, even when I'm in great shape these hills kick my butt and I'm around a 9:30 - 10 pace. I have run 20 miles down this road at a 9 pace but all the hills give way to flat road in the later miles making it easier to make up some time. I'm fairly happy with my progress thus far and hope to continue to see some improvement in the coming months.



Monday, May 19, 2008

Excited to be Excited!

I guess that run on Saturday really made the difference to me. I'm just aching to go run today. I have 5 on my schedule and just can't wait to get out the door. Not sure if I'll do it at the track or just up the road.... probably just up the road, but oh, man... I can't wait!

I've been doing pretty good with my stretching lately too. I need to really keep up with this so I don't get injured or sore. I'm increasing my mileage a little aggressively but I hope with some good weight training and some yoga I'll be okay.

I get to workout with a personal trainer tomorrow. I'm REALLY excited to be doing this. I really want to get on a good weight routine schedule -- twice or three times a week. I know I have to lift more than once a week, but after I reach my goal weight I think I can scale it back a bit. I tend to bulk pretty darn quickly. I don't want to be Popeye!

Bike -- I got my poor Cervelo down from the garage ceiling this weekend. It still has a flat tire from last season and I really need to go get it tuned up but if I can get the flat fixed by Thursday I can get a good ride in Thursday afternoon. I think I'll be home that day so it would be a good day to go up Old Belfair. If I don't watch out I'll be wanting to do another endurance du this year and I just don't think I can fit it into my schedule.

Oh, it's exciting to be excited again... hope my run this evening is good so I don't squash all these fuzzy feelings! LOL

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Feelin' Groovy

Got in a really great run today. I was actually one of those runs where you literally raise your hands over your head and whoop whoop. It felt good..... just a really invigorating run. Robb had the day off today so I got to go run early this morning down on Beach Drive. There were lots of wonderful smells and sounds to enjoy. I ran with my iPod on low and just went slow and kept my HR low. At the end of the run I picked up the pace and did the last mile a little faster. I felt like running more than 8 miles but knew that I shouldn't or COULDN'T run more because I want to be strong for next week and don't want to up the mileage too quickly. I walked another 2 miles and just enjoyed the sites and sounds.

I think the key to happy running for me is being outside. I NEED that fresh air that the outdoors bring. I really will concentrate on getting myself in gear and getting out the door in the mornings. I know this will be nearly impossible during the summer because of the girls, but maybe I'll look into getting a babysitter/nanny for the mornings.

I think I'm rambling now.... but I'm really excited... wish I could feel this good every day. Maybe soon?

Friday, May 02, 2008

On the Road

This week has been a test of time. Such a struggle to get everything done. Obstacles that weren't planned on, getting in the way, and not being able to recover. I DID get my 7-mile run in that was scheduled for Tuesday.... on Thursday. Today I did a really hilly 4 miles. It's a crazy route that is just hill after hill. If I'm short on time and want a good workout, this is the run to do.

I'm planning on a run tomorrow - not sure the distance yet, 6 would be nice. I haven't once this week gotten in any weights. I need to take another look at my schedule and re-vamp a little for next week. I'm feeling very motivated and good about what I'm doing. No, I'm no where near my fitness level of the last two years -- however, I'm still running a consistent sub-9 on shorter distance and my 'tired' pace at the end of longer runs is around 9:45. No, this isn't the optimum pace I'd like. I'd like to get to sub-9 all of the time... but for being off for 7 months I'm surprised at how well I'm doing. When I do my run/walk on my longer distance - running 11 minutes and walking 4 minutes of every 15 minute segment - I'm still clipping along right around 10-10:30. This is good considering the walk breaks. So... all in all I'm happy with the progress of the last couple weeks and just once on a Friday I'd like to report that I got in ALL intended exercise for the week. Cross your fingers next week finds us with clear skies and not a lot of hidden obstacles that wreck the best-laid plans.


Monday, April 28, 2008

Small Victories @ the Track

I've posted before that I'm doing a run/walk combination as I start back up. Today I ran 3 miles - no walk breaks. When I say ran - I mean RAN! I walked .25 to warm up but then ran the 3 miles and then cooled down with a walk too. I had to stop after the first mile to put Q's big bouncy ball away as the wind was fierce and it was blowing all over the track, but that was such a quick break I'm not counting it! LOL. I felt really great about the run even though it was only 3 miles. Tomorrow I'll do 7 -- the first time I've done 7 in a VERY long time. I'm sure I'll be fine. Tonight I think I'm finally going to sit down and put a schedule together for a fall marathon. I need to get something written up -- look ahead to where I need to be at certain times during the summer and then just keep going. I'm on a good path right now.... I'm still a massive ball of flabby jiggle, but I hope in time it'll be all but a distant memory. How's that for positive thinking?????

Week TWO in Review...

....hey, that rhymes!

Week two was good -- overall I ran 20.25 miles, walked 3, did one spin class, and lifted one day. Ultimately I'd like to walk and lift more. I was 2.75 miles short of my goal mileage, but that's closer than I've been before!

My schedule for this coming week looks like this:
Sunday - rest
Monday - 3 miles
Tuesday - 7 miles & weights
Wednesday - 6 miles
Thursday - spin or cross train & weights
Friday - 3-miles, possibly yoga
Saturday - 6 miles & weights

I still need to write up a solid training program so I don't just wing-it every week.... but so far, so good.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Treadmill Comeback

I think you all know how much I loathe the treadmill. Well, today the girls didn't have ballet due to a dance competition so I couldn't drop them and literally run. DH is working so I had to hit the Dreadmill or do nothing at all. I procrastinated until around 11:30 and then finally jumped on. I walked the first .25 for a warm up then put on a podcast - 137 bpm - and just ran to like jungle chanting music -- just beats. It was AWESOME. I could feel it pumping through my veins and down my legs. I felt like I was flying. Now, I'm still doing a big of scheduled walking just so I don't injure myself starting back after 7 months off running with 6 or so miles. I just can't have another injury so in order to get the distance in I'm running 6 minutes and then walking 90 seconds. It doesn't seem like much but mentally breaking things down in to 7-1/2 minute chunks seems to work for me.

Anyway, I just wanted to pipe up and say the treadmill isn't as bad of an option as it once was. I feel really great about myself today that I got my 6 miles in instead of moping around my house looking out the windows to the gorgeous day outside and feeling dejected because I couldn't be out in it.


Friday, April 25, 2008


I decided to post a brief history of my marathon running. I realized that some people don't know my past -- so here is a quick synopsis.

I started running after my first daughter was born - around December 1999. I'd run on and off through college and lost 45 lbs right after high school. I loved to rock climb and mtn bike so I was active. When I was dating my husband, we of course ate out a lot and I didn't get in as much exercise as I had been doing and my weight steadily increased. I was also really tired all of the time. I was eventually diagnosed with thyroid tumors. The biopsy came back inconclusive for cancer so we had to have it removed (nearly the entire thyroid) in 2000. I've struggled with my weight because of the thyroid condition for quite awhile -- thus, the marathon. I did my first marathon in June 2000 - Alaska -- It was exhilarating! I didn't do my second until May of 2003 after my second daughter was born. After that I started doing 2 a year, 3 a year -- 6 one year and so on and so on - I've done a total of 15 since 2000. I LOVE distance. I'm not a terribly fast runner but I have fairly good endurance.

In 2005 I started training for an ultra - 50K - and a week before the race (April 06)I came down with a nasty case of Achilles tendinitis that landed me in a cast -- yes, it was so bad my doctor put me in a cast so it wouldn't rupture as I walked through daily life. It was hard not running... but I eventually got back and did 3 marathons that year. 2007 was the worst year ever! It started off great... I ran the Yakima marathon but had some intermittent hip pain that slowed me down -- recovered from that, did a lot of biking and an endurance du, ran Hood to Coast and then fractured my leg at a boy scout camp fundraiser. Yes, not even running-related. I was off of running, biking, even the elliptical -- my doctor wanted me to do nothing weight-bearing and he's a running doctor so usually pretty lenient with how soon you can get back at it. I got depressed.... truly depressed and stopped just about everything. I think my running really keeps me mentally sound and without any physical activity I just fell in to a complete funk. I finally saw a doctor and got on a low dose anti-depressant. Still don't feel great, but better. I fractured my leg in September, a month before I was scheduled to run Chicago. Now, we all know what a disaster Chicago was, so that wasn't that big of a deal. I still went and saw my friends run and most finish. Mental illness runs strong in my family so I know it's 'real'. It's just hard to realize it when it's happening to you. I've been off of running now for 7 months. I want to be back where I could just pound out a marathon every month if I wanted too..... I just want the old 'me' back and I finally feel like I'm on the right path.


Friday - Unscheduled Rest Day

I'm going to let life get in the way of my 3-miler today. I just have too much on my plate. Amelia has her first dance competition starting this afternoon and I just have way too much work to do, not to mention getting all her costumes together and getting her there on time.

I'm also sore... not really bad, but enough that I think I'll just rest. I did a really vigorous spin class last night. A class I used to go to twice a week. The instructor wasn't there -- so the fitness director was teaching and had to leave 20 minutes early. She knew me and knew I knew what I was doing so she made me teach the last 20 minutes. It was fun and I think I had them sweating up a storm those last few minutes. I'm going to try to hit that class for cross-training every Thursday. Can't do the Tuesday classes anymore as the girls have dance that night. I'm going to try to get my second day of weights in on Saturday. I'll be one day of weights down this week... hey, but getting two out of the three in is better than I've done in months!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

More crosstraining....

Found this article... and just wanted to link to it. It's really good!


... do I DARE go to a spin class today? GULP, I think I'm going to try. It's going to kick my butt, I know it, but I bet it'll be fun. I need to get my second day of weights in tonight too -- and then hoping the third will be Saturday. I'll have to drag the kids to the gym, but heck -- they haven't been there in ages, it'll do them good.

I have a TON of work to do today, so I can't sit here and just think and type -- kind of sucks that I can't just be, and that I have to actually think.

And yes, today I'll be getting that diet coke.... can't go TOO long without one!


Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I'm tired today -- dragging my butt tired. No caffeine today, so that might be it. It does NOT feel good to be this crazy tired. My work connection stopped on me today too, so I've been messing around with that and now I'm exhausted from nothing but rebooting my computer and fiddling around with drives and pinging my system.

I have 4 miles on tap today but feel like I should run more. I feel like a sloth. I didn't walk this AM and was going to but I slept in... guess it was a precursor for the day to come.

I need to sit down and REALLY plan out a schedule -- for the summer. It's going to be hard to get runs in with the girls off of school and DH working. I'm going to have to get REALLY creative to make sure everything can happen.

Decision that I need to make in the next hour: should I give in an buy a diet coke???? Might need one before I run! Is that counter productive?


EDIT: Yes, I got the 4 in. ALMOST did not. I got to dance and was asked by a friend to stay and watch her daughter... I did. So I didn't get out until 6:30 but I did get in my mileage. I had to ditch the weight workout - I'd had second thoughts about it anyway -- thinking I should have a day between weight workouts so I had kind of decided to do it Thursday instead of Wednesday. Looks like that will be the case.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Tuesday - update

... do I really need to update everyday? I'm sure whoever is reading is thinking no... maybe even hell no, but I think for my mind and my motivation I need to.

So last night as I was grinding out my 3ish on the TM after 9 pm, I started thinking, yet again, about doing more walking. Just to increase stamina and of course to burn calories so that I can be a thinner runner. LOL. I got up this AM earlier than usual and walked a brisk (15 minute mile) 3 miles. Yes, it took me 45 minutes, but I listed to Steve Runner and his podcast about the 1983 Boston Marathon and it was invigorating. I loved it so much I want to do it again... NOW... but I must work, so I must wait and do it again tomorrow morning. I still have my running to do tonight, but the walking was just nice, ya know? I'm going to keep a separate tally of the walking mileage rather than group it with my running. I still want to log the running mileage as runs. I'll update my running mileage tonight.

It's amazing how much better I feel every day.... really a refreshing cycle to be in.


I did get my 6-miler in and it felt great.... it gave me great hope that I'll be back in shape at some point in time... yes, vague, but I think it'll happen.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Steve Runner

I've just started listening to Steve Runner podcasts. I really like them. They're motivating. I'm going to look forward to running or walking and listening about him talk about running. Kind of weird, but it's like osmosis...... it all seeps in.

I got in my mileage today. Yeah, I ended up at 9:50, but so what. I did 1 mile at the track and then it got really cold, hailed and it was just torture for poor Quinn so I headed to the store with her instead. Much warmer!

Came home, fixed dinner for the family and after the kids went to bed, did another 3.25 on the TM with some sprints intermingled.

Weekly Mileage

Round Two

The start of another week.... it's going to be a busy one, but I'm learning again to not postpone my life - or my workouts just so I can fit something else in. I MUST take care of me. I'm not sure everyone will understand that, but for now, it's a must. I don't feel good about myself and I need to PUSH myself this week to make sure things get done.

Schedule for this week:
Monday - 4 miles. I have this scheduled for 6:15 PM @ the track provided it does not snow. If it does, I can't take Quinn there so I'll have to do it on the TM at home. OR, if Robb gets home in time, I can leave her with him and still hit the track.
Tuesday - 6-miles & weights @ 4:30 PM. Will do weights FIRST, then hit the road running... literally.
Wednesday - 4-miles & weights @ 4:30 PM-- same as above, weights then the run.
Thursday - cross-training day or rest. Would LOVE to hit spin or Zumba.
Friday - 3-miles @ 9:00 AM.
Saturday - 6-miles & weights -- not sure when on this one yet. Might have to get a babysitter or drop Quinn somewhere if Robb is working. Amelia has ballet so I can do it then.. just don't want to push Quinn that distance. 4 miles was brutal enough... but.. I suppose if that's the only way to get it in I will.
Sunday - rest day.

Goal Mileage - 23
Weights 3 times

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Week in Review

Well -- I didn't' make my mileage this week. I did better than ANY other week in the last 6 months though. A whoppin' 14.25 miles out of 22. I'm not sore though, so I think I can still get that distance in and be okay. Was a little worried at starting back out at that since I've been stagnant for so long.

I, again, learned yesterday that if I don't actually put down the TIME of day I'm going to exercise, it's not going to happen. During the time I wanted to workout I was talking to my mom on the phone. While it was a pleasant conversation, it didn't burn 700 calories. I did take the girls swimming last night and we goofed around for 1-1/2 in the pool, that was offset by cheese bread sticks however.

I guess all in all I'm on the right track with my workouts but not where I need or want to be at any rate. I'll need to sit down and write out a detailed schedule once I look at my calendar to see what's happening with like this next week.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Friday's Incident

This is just one of those thrilling things that happen in life --

My friend Kristen and I were walking around the golf course while the girls danced yesterday and we heard an engine revving just up ahead off of a side road. We kept walking and then we saw him.... a younger guy (17ish) was racing through an intersection. He didn't make the turn and flew right in to the fence of the golf course -- the witnesses were guessing he was going about 40-45, way too fast for a 25. Anyway, Kristen and I were about 20 feet or so away from the site of impact. We called 911 as he frantically tried to back his car out. He finally got it out and sped away. Kristen got his license plate number and we reported it. Later I got a call from the police. They'd caught the kid. He was drunk (stupid boy!) and he was denying that he was even driving his car. Said he'd been asleep since 1 pm. The police said the car was warm to the touch, there were chain-link marks all across the front of the car, the muffler was hanging (we'd reported this) off the end of the vehicle and there was a spider mark in his windshield where his head had hit and apparently he had a wound on his head. Anyway, since the kid was denying everything they had to drive him over to dance and have Kristen and I identify him. I walked up to the car and it was definitely the boy we'd seen. That was enough for the police. They took him away and gave us the case number. Guess we'll have to go ID him in court if he doesn't take a plea bargain.

Just glad we're not a little faster walkers -- there would have been little to no time to react. Just goes to show you how fragile life is.


Friday, April 18, 2008

Scheduled for 10:30

I saw my nutritionist yesterday and one thing exercise-related that we talked about was the importance of a schedule. She wasn't talking about sitting down and just writing out what you wanted to do each day of the week for your workout. She was specifically talking about scheduling a TIME when you'd exercise. Today, my time is 10:30 for a short run. I have two hours to work, and then I'll be out the door for 4 miles. I'm also scheduling a walk for this afternoon while the girls are in dance @ 4:30 and at 5:30 I'll go lift weights (this one is contingent on Quinn though, need someone to watch her a bit at dance -- I'm sure I'll find someone). So there it is. Let's see how this works!

4 miles in the bank. Not a run, more of a walk/run with Markie in the jogger. Heather pushed 1/2 the time and I pushed the other. It is a REALLY hilly course so it's not disappointing at all to walk some. It's a workout. Don't believe me? Come see for yourself. Should be able to get another 2-4 miles in while the girls are dancing -- most probably just a walk and I'll run tomorrow again. Mojo, meet Shel!

Last Edit:
did 3.5 miles around the Madrona Golf Course -- scary story attached to this that I'll write up tomorrow.

Weekly Mileage: 14.25/22


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Wednesday Run Update

I actually DID get out for a run. Not as far as I'd planned, that's for sure, but I did get out. I only got 3.75 miles before I had to stop. My head was splitting and I just had to call it quits. I'm going to have to just admit defeat when I have a migraine. It's just too painful sometimes to run through it. I tried, and that's more than I could say for myself a month or so ago. So.... mileage still NOT on target for the week. We'll see where we go from here.

Today is Thursday. It's technically a rest/x-train day. More than likely I won't get anything significant in because there is a church activity I need to attend tonight and I need to get home and fold some laundry before that so we don't live out of laundry baskets our entire life.

Weekly Mileage

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Ugh! Why Me?!

So I got up all excited about life and exercising and eating well. Got my day planned out and then BAM - Migraine hits. Why does this happen to me? I'm obviously going to skip my 3 mile hilly run I'd planned on doing. I'm still going to try to hit the mileage at the end of the day and opt for the 7 mile version instead of the 6 - possibly longer. I went and got a 44 oz diet coke and am currently swigging that down. My neck hurts and my fingers keep going numb. I'm old. I've decided this.... However, IMPOSSIBLE is my new favorite word so I'm going to keep a good outlook and not give up on the day. It's only 11:30 AM for heaven sakes!


Baby Steps

Well, yet again, I got sidetracked last night and didn't get to the gym. I'm SOOO thankful I went for that short run yesterday morning. I'm going to do that again today. I ended up doing payroll taxes that needed to be submitted online yesterday and I didn't think it'd take quite as long as it did. It was incredibly frustrating but it's done and that's all that matters.

I watched the Biggest Loser Finale last night and I've just got to say that those people were just so inspiring. ALL of them. I want some of that drive that they have. I feel like I used to have it and I'd like to find it again.

Jillian Michales, one of the trainers on BL said these powerful words last night:

Make IMPOSSIBLE your favorite word. Welcome to challenge; because when you bring your heart and your mind to your intention, there's nothing that you can't accomplish.

I LOVED that! That's my new motto! Thank you Jillian!

Today, I will get back out there and accomplish a run this morning and a run this evening. I'm determined to make my goal mileage this week. I might be sore as hell, but I'm going to do it. No more 'impossibles' to get in my way, because I love that other people can do it. I can be one of them.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Heading out....

Well, I ditched yesterday. DH got home from work late and I couldn't subject my little girl to the pouring rain at the track. Today - at this very moment - I'm dressed and heading out the door for a run. Just need to get my shoes on. Will do a hilly 3 miles and then tonight I'm aiming for 4 miles and then some weights. This should make up for yesterday. Still want to make my weekly mileage! Still not happy with the way I've been eating, but I guess that's a subject for another blog.

I ran! whoo hoo! This is the second time in four days. Actually a huge accomplishment for me. I think I have a bit of asthma or allergies still. It's really hard to breath sometimes and I really struggle for air. I did a hilly 3 hills up the quarry road. There are some really steep inclines so I walk them. Even at my best it was hard to run all the way up -- I could do it, but it was very difficult. Not too pleased with my time, but I'll take it 34:11. I know I used to do this route around a 9:30 pace which is good for the hills.


**Weekly Mileage 3/22

Monday, April 14, 2008

Where did the sun go?

Are you kidding me? It's raining again? I have to get some sort of a run in today and I'd love to do some bleacher work but it's raining and it's cold. Where in the world is summer? Saturday it was in the mid-80s -- today? 40s. Is it child abuse to keep a kid at the track while it's cold and wet? Ugh, does this mean I have to buck up and do a run on the treadmill? Oh, please let the rain stop and just let the sun come out for a few hours! Realistically I'm thinking it's going to be a TM run. Need to adjust my thinking to this and quickly so I don't bail out of my workout all together. I really, really wanted to make this week a success. Heavens knows I don't want to start Monday down a run!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Answer is YES!

I can STILL push Quinn in the jogger, and it's actually STILL fun! Did a slow 4 miles around Kitsap Lake with Quinn in the jogger and it was a workout! Pushing 50lbs and running (or walking) is a very tough job. We had a great time and it's refreshing that I still have the jogger as an option when there is nothing else I can do except for the treadmill. Still hate that thing!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Fitness Friday

....or that's what I tell myself to call it. I have had a really busy morning and need to work. I'm not sure if this counts for work, probably not, so I can't be long.

Tonight I'm going to run while my girls are at dance. I may or may not get an opportunity tomorrow because DH will most likely be working, however, if he's not, I really want to run around Kitsap Lake. This is where it all started for me when I moved here. I ran around the lake, and at the beginning, I couldn't run up the hill. Time after time I went and finally got to the point where I could make it up the hill. I felt like Rocky at the top of the stairs.... hands up in triumph. I want to feel like that again. I wonder if I could get anyone to run that with me...... wonder if I could push Quinn in the jogger still????

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Alright, here goes nothing. In an attempt to motivate my sorry ass, I'm going to post my schedule of what I OUGHT to be doing. I'd like to adhere to it as much as possible, but as most parents know, especially us mothers, things get in the way and the best-laid plans are often scrapped for some other child-related activity.

Starting off with today:

Thursday: not so sure - I was going to spin but my house is a sty, my husband informed me of that, and I need to go pick up his pants from being altered.... have some cookies to bake too, so not sure what will happen today. I want SOMETHING to, though.
Friday: Longer run of some sort? 6-7 miles? Man, since when did THAT become long?
Saturday: Short run, weights possibly
Sunday: Rest

Now, I know I can at least do 2 of these four days.... Sunday as a rest day will be easy!

I'm also, starting tomorrow, going to journal my food intake. This will be mighty pathetic as I can't seem to get the sweet tooth under control. I'm going to be a blimp if I'm not really, really careful!

Endurance is not just physical.

I was thinking last night as I left my good friend Heather's house, that I should start this blog up again. But then I thought.... what have you done lately? Endurance-wise? Nothing came to my mind. I've had an incredibly tough year. I know now that I was depressed almost all of 2007. I have a family history of this and finally got some help towards the end of the year. I am much happier now, but that depression and some minor injuries have set me back to the point of no return..... or so I thought.

I had an epiphany last night.... isn't LIFE an endurance sport? I mean, think about it... just getting up everyday, getting your kids off to school, working, trying to get a workout in, dinner, grocery shopping, extra curricular activities... it's all endurance. Nothing to be ashamed of if you can't get in a workout or fall very far behind. I feel like something clicked last night. I can still be a marathoner, a duathlete, and an endurance QUEEN even if I haven't run more than 4 miles in the last 6 months. My immediate past does not negate my past history of races and where my heart lies, nor does it negate my future.

Here's to endurance.... of all kinds.

I'm back!